Dire Collie

Dire Collie

Share this post

Dire Collie
Dire Collie
stories from the world's biggest Border Collie

stories from the world's biggest Border Collie

Monstrous's avatar
Sirius Li's avatar
Monstrous
and
Sirius Li
Apr 22, 2021

Share this post

Dire Collie
Dire Collie
stories from the world's biggest Border Collie
Share

Dire Collie? What’s that?

That’s what I asked my mom when she told me that’s what I was. I don’t feel particularly dire. But mom said I was way too big to be a Border Collie, so I must be partially dire. Whatever that means.

She also said my diagnosis was dire…osteeohkondrytus diseekans. I can’t spell it, but she says it’s serious. Hey, that’s me! Sirius Li.

She says I’m gonna be gold-plated, whatever that means. I’d much rather have a plate of chicken. Or pork. Or beef. Or carrots. Or…anything, honestly! I LOVE FOOD.

Anyway, if you want to know more about my life (it’s pretty awesome! I RUN AND PLAY AND BARK) you can follow me here! My mom set it up. She’s so smart. And beautiful, even though she’s human. Oh and she smells AMAZING.

You can also tell your friends! I would just bark at them (though mom tells me to be quiet all the time, they have to KNOW THE NEWS!) but I guess humans have different ways of doing things. I don’t know. I’m a Border Collie.

-Sirius Li


Monstrous’ note: As I tried to curtail his incessant barking, Sirius became very insistent that I set up this blog for him so that he could inform people that he is a DOG and does DOG THINGS in another way. I didn’t know he was a writer at heart; I guess he’s just like me, his momma. Of course, his paws have lots of trouble with the keyboard, so I help out from time to time.

I hope you enjoy this Collie’s Eye View of the world.

-Monstrous, aka Katje van Loon

Share this post

Dire Collie
Dire Collie
stories from the world's biggest Border Collie
Share
© 2025 Katje van Loon
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share